2008-06

Everything on earth has its own time. And there are no shortcuts to maturity. most people says that women gets easily mature than men regardless of age and life experiences. The development of character cannot be rushed. like physical and emotional growth, takes time. We want to quick fix, the shortcut, the on-the-spot solution. Sometimes I feel I want a sermon, a seminar, or an experience that will instantly resolve all problems, remove all temptation, and release me from all growing pains. But real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving. Growth is gradual. Sometimes I asked myself Am I slow learner? or I have a lot to unlearn? Growth is often painful and scary. Some says and I believe that my character is the sum total of my habit. You can’t claim to be kind unless you are habitually kind, you show kindness without thinking of it. I can’t claim to have integrity unless it is my habit to always be honest. I learn something today from my colleague. “God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time”. From now on I will bear in mind and always remember how far I’ve come, not just how far I have to go. I am not where I want to be, but neither Am I where I used to be. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient!

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It’s a songs of heart. A song that touched my heart. It feels good when I inspire others of being in love. This song makes my day happy and colorful. I just wish there is someone who inspires me in my everyday lives. Being alone in my life and far from my love is not easy to live with. when I think of him sometimes I feel so unlucky because were far from each other. Longing for his presence makes me more sad and lonely. Going home after work is hard thinking that no one waits for me. No one can comfort me when I’m disappointed. when I’m tired and need someone to share my thought and dreams. Thank you for this song and to my friend. She gives me hope and learn to wait for the right time, that there is someones waiting and just for me. And saying “take me to your heart”. take me to your soul and be my guiding star. Bring me far away and take me to heaven where I can be happy. I want to feel all those feelings before I get old. A someone who makes me wanna sing and shows me what really love is. I know love will finds a way.

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In celebration of the special day for fathers. I sent a text message to the father of my children. I’m not expecting him to say anything or appreciate it. for me being the father of my angels I’m thankful that he’s the one. I’m reaching out to him for I want him to be my friend because he’s the father of my children. I know it takes time to heal the wounds in our hearts and forgive each other. For now we need to be friends for the sake of the children but he’s not ready yet. I understand. Humility is not thinking less of yourself it is thinking of yourself less. Pride builds walls between people, humility builds bridges. Humility is the oil that smoothes and soothes relationships. It’s not easy to forgive him but past is past. After all, I already moved on. and I learned a lot. I know time will come we can be friends. I believe that once we recognize it season has passed and resolved reflexive anger, given up bargaining and healed our hurting hearts, “acceptance” takes care of the rest by relinquishing the relationship to its natural course. No more false expectation. no more pain. Only acceptance. Bitterness is the greatest barrier to friendships.

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