2008-07

Once in my life. I felt the love that I’m longing for so long. I thank God for he let me felt the kind of love that not all the people in this world can feel. A kind of love that I will treasure until my last breath on earth. I remember, there was one moment when I’m with him I felt like the world has stopped and it’s like so perfect and the happiness that brings to me was endless. A reason to wake up each day and thanking God for sending him to my way. “I love you! I wanna tell you why I love you. You need to know this. I love you since I met you, because of you, what I learn from you, it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together not for today, if not for you I wouldn’t known love at all. Thank you for taught me to loved and to be loved.” You will always be in my heart!

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Everyone of us have a desires in our hearts. What’s inside will come out in the right time. For me knowing the ultimate desires of my heart takes time to have it. I have one life and one chance to make it count for something I desire. Yes I’m free to choose what that something is, and the something I choose is my faith . A faith that I can get what I want and it requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference. Learning my experiences in life, whenever I give something to somebody my feelings is the very end that sustain my relationships with others. When I have faith I acknowledge a force that helps and guides me, that motivates me, that propels me to aim for the summit and to get what’s my heart desires. For now I need to believe in something which I don’t see but I know is there for me.

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Why do we so seldom disclose our deepest emotions, even to friends? Many reasons, My thought was if I reveal my needs or get emotional, people will not like me. But my expectation is opposite. People begin to feel close to me when they know something of my needs. In my depressing moment I’m lucky because my family and friends is always there to comfort and reminds me that life is a test, and I need to pass all the trials in order to survive and to live in a meaningful life. Mostly I express my sadness by crying to a sudden relief from hurts or for being lonely. Tears are a great gift from God. Crying need not to be a sign of weakness or an imposition on the person who witnesses it. I honor the person with whom I cry. I feel I’m getting close and deepen my relationship to that person. Most of our communications nonverbal, our tears when it falls naturally, can be a means of getting closer to others. Revealing my true feelings and showing my tears to the people whom I trust and love makes me realize that I’m strong and human.

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