2008-07-14

Please stop the rain. Since yesterday it was raining until now the whole day is raining! Oh God! Rain makes me sad and lonely. Since I was a child when it rains I felt so depressed I wonder why? maybe because I can’t go out and play with my childhood friends. And now that I’m adult I know some reason why I felt that way. Last night it was my darkest part of my life. I know it’s a foolish thing to do and it’s a sin to do such thing. I’m just human to feel and think that foolish thing. I love my life but sometimes I can’t help myself not to get depressed, its hard to pretend that I’m happy with my life. I had a thousand doubts about myself, but my faith held strong. Why? this desperate question is spray like a chemical foam on the fire of my heart. I asked the question again and again. Why? Why? God was silent. I’m not sure how long I will suffer in the darkness of doubt but somewhere in the midst of my lonely questioning I realize something that eventually revolutionize my faith. I’m not searching for an explanation. I was crying out to God. And yet there was no answer. God, why are you so silent? I know your invisible but let me feel you especially when I’m all alone and when it rains let me feel your love.

　　please click this banner?