2008-10-05

This early evening my daughter was in a hurry of going home. I asked her why your so in a hurry? You don’t want to stay with me a little bit longer? I told and remind her. “Before you cried a lot and you said you don’t want to go home you even told me that you wanted to stay with me when its time for you to go home. But now your the one who reminds your nanny its time to go home.” And she answered back. “Mama I have school tomorrow, we have a practice for our class presentation for united nation day!” I said really? She said “Yes” don’t forget to come to our school to watch me okay? And she told me “don’t worry mama I don’t love Tita Alma” (her father’s live in girl friend). “Only you that I love.” I was teary eyed and so touched when she assured me, she kissed and hug me many times. I’m so stupid to think and feel that I might loose her love and her attention for having a step mother. I maybe insecure because we don’t live together and I can not do my duty and obligations as a mother. It hurts me so much! I felt my heart was crushed into pieces. But I have to be strong and accept the situation. At the back of my mind I’m happy because she accepted the situation and she’s happy now. I’m so sorry to my children I can’t keep the family intact. It’s our fault not yours. But always remember what ever happens I’m always here for you. There’s nothing can be as successful of having a complete and a happy family. I may not have it now but I still keep on dreaming to have one in the future. Oh God! please give me more strength to hold on to my dreams.

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