2008-11

Freedom is of the utmost importance to a man. A woman longs to be possessed, a man longs to be free. Sometimes when I thought about this reality I get insulted. A man needs to know he can have me and his freedom, too. And thinking that he will put me to the test to ensure his peace of mind. I want to see it for it is, and not to be over react. The truth is, freedom is an essential ingredients to any relationships. Saying like its easier than done. “If you love someone, set him free.” If people are meant to be in our lives, they will return of their own volition. This stage of the relationship is what separates the girls from the women. It examines our powers of restraint, exaggerates our greatest fears, and exposes our perception of our self worth. Most of all it tests our faith. At time like this I remember, If it is Gods will, it will happen! And if it is not Gods will, it’s better for me to find out early in the game so I can be free to receive the person God has chosen for me. It’s important to understand that God is not going to make this man to fall in love with me, God will simply allow the circumstances of this man’s life to reveal what is in his heart. It is really hard to find someone who will truly love us, but its more harder if when you happen to know that there is just no hope of you have two being together yet you still pray to make it work. It is when your mind says to let go but your heart says hold on… When a man feels the tug on his heart to make a commitment, no matter how wonderful a time he is having with you the word “forever” its sounds like an iron gate cutting off his access to the highway of freedom.

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This morning when I was listening to the radio they played the theme song of “Twilight” movie. I checked the song in youtube. I found the song the instrumental one. Someone played the piano and I’m so amazed to the man who played the song. When I saw his piano it’s looks exactly the same of my piano in my former house. I wish I could play a piano like him. He’s so good, he’s amazing when I saw him playing and listening to the music he played my heartbeat beats fast, I felt the message of this song it touched my heart and he inspires me to learn how to play the piano. I love listening someone playing the piano especially love songs it suits my inner self and it’s so relaxing. When I heard my daughter playing the piano I feel joy inside me. The connection of the piano and the music to me is unexplainable. Let me share with you the music and the song of my heart. I would do anything for love…

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I had a dinner with my very best friend. It’s been a 1 year and half we didn’t see each other. We miss each others company. We talked many things from the past, sad and happy moments. I remember the times when I visited him in his office and all of his colleagues was so fascinated because he has a friend who always visited him after office hour. I’ve meet many people in his office and some are still my friends ’til now. Our relationship of being friends is extra ordinary. I remember the times when I was so down and was about to give up he’s always there for me. Tonight, I discovered his secret he revealed to me accidentally through our conversation. Once, in his married life he was unfaithful to his wife. He was caught in the act by his wife during their younger years and the person involved was a friend of them. I was shocked, I never imagine that he could do that to his wife. I told him “ones your a cheater you will always be a cheater!” he just smile and said, that’s a mans world! No comment. A double standard society. So unfair really but it’s depends on the personality of ones individual it doesn’t matter what races or nationality. Men are men, they were born polygamous. They are not contented of having one girlfriend or wife they will still look for another to prove to their selves that they are ‘macho’ a manhood and egoistic behavior.

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