2008-04

Last night while were lying on my bed with my 4 years old daughter, asked me. Mama why is it your house is different from my house? Why were not living in one house? Why your living alone? I want to stay with you, I want you to be with me always. I want you to take care of me and to send me to school. Why is it my yaya instead of you takes care of me? Those questions of my little angel melts my heart. I don’t know what to say! I was so shock! I know its a simple question with a simple answer. But I was speechless, I don’ know how to explain and where to begin with. I felt, am I being unfair to her? Not to tell her the truth why is it our situation is like that? The fact that she’s only 4 years old, i know kids now are more sensitive, and smart. Someday i have to tell her the truth when she’s grown up and can understand me well. I told her last night that someday we will be together. For now its ok that she have two houses to stay. And she enjoy staying with me and feel my love and care. What matter most is she feels the love of a mother and a father even they’re apart. In my experience, the most difficult questions to answer is the questions of the innocent people like my daughter. One thing I want to share “The truth will set you free, but first it may make you miserable”!

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Last night I had a dream. A dream that I’m carrying a baby boy and I went to an old house or a building to hide from the people that I don’t know. Why they’re running after me? Is it because of the baby that I’m carrying? why I’m hiding from those people? why I dreamed such kind of dream? A strange feeling. From time to time we all experience vivid dreams which are difficult to explain. The impression most of us are left with when we wake up after such a dream is one of confused,muddled images which no logical form. It is often as though we have been watching or taking part in a strange fantasy which seems to have nothing to do with our everyday lives. In fact, dreams probably reflect more about ourselves than we realize. our dream world, however nonsensical, disturbing or beautiful, is in many ways more real than what we call ‘reality’. In most cases dreams reflect our deepest desires, fears, and frustration. I hope my dream will have a positive meaning in my life.

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I just want to share something to be consider in our life. Here’s one more good reason for men to quit smoking: the habit increases the risk of erectile dysfunction. Studies shows that men who smoke a pack of cigarettes a day are 40% more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction than the men who don’t smoke. In another study, male smokers in their 40s were found to be more likely to suffer from erectile problems than older males who did not smoke. Likewise, the risk of erectile dysfunction was nearly doubled for men in their 40s who are smokers compared to men in their 50s who are non smokers. Although there are other factors that may cause erectile dysfunction. The key is still to maintain a healthy life style to prevent this disorder. “Take better care of yourself. Make sure you’re not obese, eat well, exercise, and if you have diabetes or hypertension, make sure they’re well controlled”. So to all smokers out there think of your health, live healthy. Life is so short ,love your life!

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