My Heart And Me

Not all sufferings, are redemptive. Some sufferings including much of my loneliness, is consequences of my broken relationships. God created you and me for relationships. When God said “It is not good for the man to be alone.” He was referring to man’s need for woman and for woman’s need for man. “It is not good for the man to be alone,” also applies to all relationship. When an individual is alone for an extended period, the first thing he or she loses is sane, happy and spontaneous laughter. Happy laughter is possible only when there is someone to laugh with. To laugh alone is to be ridiculous. “No one man is an island” is an apt saying. ” No man stands alone. Every man is a brother. Every man is a friend.” Sometimes I feel totally alone even in a crowd. No aloneness could be more intense than being in a miserable marriage like I had 6 years ago. There is nothing as lonely as bearing pain alone with no sympathy or help even from your family and friends. Much of the loneliness will vanish if we address the alienation causing it. It can be brought about by selfishness, pride, or unbelief. When I don’t talk with, or cannot communicate with a person because of unresolved hurt, anger, resentment, or bitterness, there is alienation. Such estrangement brings mutual loneliness. I could so easily be free from much of my loneliness if only I have the humility to ask for forgiveness and the grace to forgive. The answer to much of my loneliness is healed relationships. Deeper than the loneliness caused by our broken relationships with one another is the loneliness caused by our broken relationship with God. Loneliness is temporary. Suffering is redemptive. I turn to God to heal my broken relationship. I learn not to allow my pride and selfishness to master me and rob me of joy of healthy relationships. Confess to one another ask for forgiveness, and grant forgiveness. Thank you God for the guidance and love.

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I feel terribly hurt. I was hurt by someone who is so close to my heart. I considered him as my best friend. Because of some personal reason he decided not to be my best friend. Getting hurt is part of humanity. Getting hurt or causing hurt to others will always be part of our lives for as long as we are in this imperfect world, living with imperfect people and with our imperfect selves. When I love, I risk getting hurt. The fuller I love, the higher the risk of deeper hurts. I could isolate myself from hurts. If you want to avoid of getting hurt, don’t ever love. Do not enter into a meaningful relationships; I have to turn my heart into stone. Stop being a human being; become a piece of wood-without feelings, without relationships, without love, and without hurts. But, I’m thankful, even if hurts is a necessary part of our humanity and a necessary risk from genuine loving and sincere caring for others, hurt may be minimized and managed. It’s so traumatic for me. The friendship that I treasure went to waste. Hurt feelings are inevitable. Lord give me strength to overcome the hurt in my heart.

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Every time I dream, it’s him and in my heart I can feel we will be together. Because the love I feel in my heart the day will come and will be forever. I’ll keep believing this magic. Someday, somehow, my true love will come and this maybe my last day alone. I know there’s someone for me who will always be the one I love. “Love comes unexpectedly… sometimes we are unaware we love in a wrong time and in a wrong place and the worst loving the wrong person.” This song is dedicated to the man that I love so much… In my dream and in my heart you will stay forever… it will take a lifetime to forget you…

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