My Heart And Me

Okay, Truth is, a breakup is one of the toughest things I’ll ever experience. It’s heartwrenching, and I deserve to feel lousy. Breaking up from even unhealthy relationship hurts. It’s frightening to lose a relationship I depend on. I give myself over to the agony and have a good cry. Yes, I feel better and it helps a lot for me. Expressing my sadness instead of keeping it in, and the healing will begin all the sooner. I don’t want to get even, I want to get over it. I’ll be the better and stronger person for doing so.

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In each day of my life, there is a particular crisis that must be resolved before I can successfully progress to the next stage. I can only be successful in each stage if I were able to resolve crisis at the previous stage. What if I don’t resolve it? Then it will continue to affect my life. No matter what, I will always encounter problems, from sunrise to sunset. One of the most basic facts about life is that in order to experience happiness, I need to experience the opposite as well. Everything I go through in my life is the result of my experiences, and everything I do is the result of how I respond to those experiences. I learn to love and love more because I know how hate feels. I want to be with someone because I know what it’s like to be alone. And I want to be happy because I know the sadness can do to me. In other words, I need to to go through the things I may not like in order to appreciate and enjoy the things I do like. When my life is hit with trials and challenges, like sickness, striking a family member or a loved one going to a wayward, I tend to see only the suffering stage. But there is a reason I’m given such adversities – the pain or agony I endure is actually the prelude to something better. Do you sometimes wonder why there is so much suffering in the world? Why are the innocent and those who are trying to do good subjected to pain, heartaches, sickness, tragedy, and death? I don’t fully know why we suffer, but the things I know is that suffering has a purpose, a very important purpose. “Suffering and joy teach us, if we allow them, how to make the leap of empathy, which transports us into the soul and heart of another person. In those transparent moments we know other people’s joys and sorrows, and we care about their concerns as if they were our own.” According to ‘Aristotle’ “Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through greatness of mind.” And I believe there is suffering in life, and there is defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be a defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for. I cannot avoid challenges in my life, but I can learn how to face my challenges because I now know what to do about them when they come again. Thank you God for the joy and pain in my life it made me more stronger than ever.

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It’s been almost a month I didn’t write my thoughts, been busy because of the holiday parties and work. In welcoming the new year 2010. I’m hoping for the best of everything. Last night, when I was waiting for a taxi cab to attend a birthday dinner with my Rotarian colleagues, a man approached me “hi did you remember me?” yes! your the man asking my cellphone number a month ago? he replied “yes I am!” he introduced his self, we live same community and he lives next building. That’s the second time I saw him in our place. He insisted to send me where I’m supposed to go. At first I didn’t accept his offer but he still insisted it. I don’t want him to get offended, he looks harmless and gentleman and kind so I let him sent me to place where I will go. Inside his car while were heading to the place he told me “Malou I want to be honest with you, the first time I met you I’m so attracted to you, and now I’m taking the chance to tell you what is my intension.” I was so shocked! “can I hold your hand?” I said why? I want to tell you that I’m serious on my proposals to you, I want you to be my girlfriend, I will give what you want all the material things, I will support you, just let me be your boyfriend! What??? I said are you okay? take it easy if you are interested on me at first you should know me well, don’t be so in a hurry, you can’t get what you want in just one clik, I’m not an easy woman, I live alone for many years without a man besides me to support my needs, I can support myself. He said “I’m sorry you misunderstood me. I work abroad, I’m a pilot in a cargo plain I stayed abroad six months to one year, I’m only here for a holiday vacation, I don’t have enough time to know you well so if you will accept my proposal to be my girlfriend I will let you visit me in abroad and stayed with me to know you well. I will give you three to five days to think if you will accept my proposal, next week I will go back to work, before I leave please let me know your answer.” I met many men in my everyday life but this man is one of a kind, he’s crazy and arrogant! I don’t care if he’s a millioner, I need a man who can take care and respect me as a woman. A man who will give his quality time to be with me his presence when I need someone to talk with not the promises of material things. all I want is the love, respect, and care of a man that I really love.

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