My Heart And Me

During my teenage life, when I was 14 yrs. old, one of my suitors came to our house with a song lyrics, it was a love song, he said this love song was dedicated to me. I just laughed and ask why? At first he knows my weakness I like music, a love songs. But I don’t feel anything, I like the song but i don’t like the man. Sorry i was so young then to feel something “kilig” in my heart. When I meet my first love he made a love song for me. I felt I’m so especial and amazed because he made a song just for me. And now 5 days ago a very especial person of my life send me a love song. The song is about missing and waiting for someone dearly love and an act of ‘persuasion’ something like that. At first I just ignore it, ordinary thing for me, but when I play the song over and over again I felt something in my heart. It’s not an English song but I understand some words of the lyrics. I can’t explain my feelings about this love song, it’s like a connection with someone you don’t know but when you meet this person you feel you’ve meet before. Something like that. Maybe because someone especial dedicated it to me. But I’m not sure if this song is ‘only’ just for me, knowing him that he’s unfaithful lover. I really like the meaning of this song, the feeling that i can’t explain why? I just wish the especial person who dedicated this song to me knows the meaning of this love song and it comes from his heart.

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Today is the birthday of one person that I will never forget in my entire life. For she is the only person I’ve known who doesn’t care about the feelings of others, she’s so selfish! The person who hurt my feelings and she almost destroyed me as a person. Many years passed by, sometimes when I think all the bad experiences that I had, I felt anger and revenge. I want her to feel the pain that I had before. But I ask myself if I do that what will happen? It will cause more people to get hurt. So now right at this moment I will forgive her. It’s hard to forgive, it takes time to forget all the pain that she caused me. I’m doing this for myself, I want to heal all the wounds inside my heart and be free from all the heaviness inside me. Time will come she will realize all her wrong doing to her fellow man. and I’m praying to God that she can learn how to respect others and be humble for what she have material possessions that God gave her temporarily. Past is past! Nothing will change it. I realize, I’m only hurting myself with my bitterness. All I can do now is to learn from it and then let it go. Forgiveness is my best gift to her especial day!

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I got a surprise call today from my long lost friend. I’ve known him for more than 4 years. I never thought that we could be best of friends. I met this man during my inquires how to be a dealer or retailer of one brand of softdrinks here in town. He helped me for he is the one who’s in charge to explain to me the in and out of this kind of business. To make the story short we became friends, but he advised me not to pursue this kind of business because this business is not suitable for me. He’s really a good man he treat me well, if I have problems he’s always there for me. I treat him like my father, my older brother, and my best friend. The only thing what I don’t like, when he told me that he loves me. I was so surprised when I knew it, that he has a special feelings for me. I felt so uncomfortable when we see each other because I don’t feel the same. I felt he betrayed our friendship. I didn’t see him for almost half a year because of that reason. But we accidentally met again. I talked to him about his feelings for me. and we settled it, he understands me. But there was something he wants from me, that was to let him love me. After that moment we still have some communication. before I left for abroad he wish me good luck and hoping that the next time we met again our friendship still the same. And now after a year he told me that his feelings for me is still the same. I thank him for being a good friend and for loving me unconditionally. I wish that he will find the right woman who will love him back, because he deserves it. Relationships are always worth restoring. Thank you Lord for giving me a blessings to have a true friends who loves me for what I am. And to discover my role in life through my relationships with others.

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