My Heart And Me

Last Friday night when I was talking to my child over the phone, she asked why they will not come to me that night and she suddenly cried, she wanted to be with me because we didn’t see each other for 11 days and she misses me. It’s hard for me to explain because I’m so guilty of not having a quality time for them because of my work. Working for 6 days in a week is so depressing for me as a mother. When I went to the office yesterday morning I’m in a bad mood, I felt I’m so tired and depressed. I cried when I was taking my lunch, I remember my children, were supposed to take our lunch together like we used to, maybe I’m just guilty of not being with them. After work, I rushed to the mall to meet my children, my tiredness of work was gone. We took our dinner and we went to amusement center to play some games. My children love to sing, they sung the songs of ABBA the 80’s group singer, if I’m not mistaken. My five year old daughter love to sing the song “dancing queen” she sung it 4 times, we had fun together a bonding and a quality time to each other. That was one of the best bonding moment for us. They took away my stress in work and my guilt as well. Without them my life will be miserable. We can always find a reason to justify our emotions, but we can also find a bigger reason to let go of it. I learn that I must put the relationship first before the emotion. Effort always has a reward.

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This past two weeks I’ve been so busy of my field work, meeting and talking mostly to men and learning little by little in technical and engineering knowledge. It’s hard for me for I don’t have formal education in engineering like application of scientific and mathematical principles. In social engineering maybe I can. But talking to engineers it’s fun and enjoyable for me, I can learn something from them when it comes to engineering works. Common sense is needed what ever and which ever our educational back ground. Yesterday, I met a young engineer, he asked my educational back ground, I told him “you’ll be surprise” and he guessed that I’m engineer too. I smiled and said “nope!” do I look like an engineer? and he said, you look like a showbiz personality! and I said your really an engineer a skillful in directing system to a woman’s heart! He was surprised when he knew that I belong in medical industry, I’m supposed to be a nurse but we can never tell what will be our future and what will we become when we grow old. It’s really fun and interesting learning different field and profession, it’s a continues learning process for me. Challenges keeps me fit. What ever profession we have, the love and the happiness we feel in everything we do in our life matter most. I’m still looking for what field am good at, its like a saying “you will never know what your good at until you try it.”

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Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what’s in our hearts, why we feel the way we do, and what we really need. For me the most important of all is to know and have a clear understanding of what your needs are before you approach others with them. This is true especially when communicating with males. In my work, mostly I talk with are males. In my observation, men get frustrated when the problem keeps changing. Men are fixers, if you just need a listening ear and not necessarily advice, state that up front before he gets started. Most women naturally like to massage their problems, turn them over, and examine them thoroughly before actively dealing them.To most men, a problem is an opportunity for them to fix something, finish it, then move on. If we still in the mull stage of a problem, discuss it with “girls.” They enjoy and understand the process a whole lot more. Remember that man’s ego will be affected by how you react to his advise, don’t ask for his advice if you’re not going to consider following it. I don’t be quick to ignore my ‘mighty counselor’ because there’s a man in my life. God is able to shine the light on my emotions. He can tell me what is going on with me better than anyone. He always gives the right advice and answers I need in a way that will surpass my expectations. I think the most important key to communication with a mate, a friend, or even God is “openness.” Be open, and be gently honest especially to ourselves.

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