My Heart And Me

In each day of my life, there is a particular crisis that must be resolved before I can successfully progress to the next stage. I can only be successful in each stage if I were able to resolve crisis at the previous stage. What if I don’t resolve it? Then it will continue to affect my life. No matter what, I will always encounter problems, from sunrise to sunset. One of the most basic facts about life is that in order to experience happiness, I need to experience the opposite as well. Everything I go through in my life is the result of my experiences, and everything I do is the result of how I respond to those experiences. I learn to love and love more because I know how hate feels. I want to be with someone because I know what it’s like to be alone. And I want to be happy because I know the sadness can do to me. In other words, I need to to go through the things I may not like in order to appreciate and enjoy the things I do like. When my life is hit with trials and challenges, like sickness, striking a family member or a loved one going to a wayward, I tend to see only the suffering stage. But there is a reason I’m given such adversities – the pain or agony I endure is actually the prelude to something better. Do you sometimes wonder why there is so much suffering in the world? Why are the innocent and those who are trying to do good subjected to pain, heartaches, sickness, tragedy, and death? I don’t fully know why we suffer, but the things I know is that suffering has a purpose, a very important purpose. “Suffering and joy teach us, if we allow them, how to make the leap of empathy, which transports us into the soul and heart of another person. In those transparent moments we know other people’s joys and sorrows, and we care about their concerns as if they were our own.” According to ‘Aristotle’ “Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through greatness of mind.” And I believe there is suffering in life, and there is defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be a defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for. I cannot avoid challenges in my life, but I can learn how to face my challenges because I now know what to do about them when they come again. Thank you God for the joy and pain in my life it made me more stronger than ever.

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It’s been almost a month I didn’t write my thoughts, been busy because of the holiday parties and work. In welcoming the new year 2010. I’m hoping for the best of everything. Last night, when I was waiting for a taxi cab to attend a birthday dinner with my Rotarian colleagues, a man approached me “hi did you remember me?” yes! your the man asking my cellphone number a month ago? he replied “yes I am!” he introduced his self, we live same community and he lives next building. That’s the second time I saw him in our place. He insisted to send me where I’m supposed to go. At first I didn’t accept his offer but he still insisted it. I don’t want him to get offended, he looks harmless and gentleman and kind so I let him sent me to place where I will go. Inside his car while were heading to the place he told me “Malou I want to be honest with you, the first time I met you I’m so attracted to you, and now I’m taking the chance to tell you what is my intension.” I was so shocked! “can I hold your hand?” I said why? I want to tell you that I’m serious on my proposals to you, I want you to be my girlfriend, I will give what you want all the material things, I will support you, just let me be your boyfriend! What??? I said are you okay? take it easy if you are interested on me at first you should know me well, don’t be so in a hurry, you can’t get what you want in just one clik, I’m not an easy woman, I live alone for many years without a man besides me to support my needs, I can support myself. He said “I’m sorry you misunderstood me. I work abroad, I’m a pilot in a cargo plain I stayed abroad six months to one year, I’m only here for a holiday vacation, I don’t have enough time to know you well so if you will accept my proposal to be my girlfriend I will let you visit me in abroad and stayed with me to know you well. I will give you three to five days to think if you will accept my proposal, next week I will go back to work, before I leave please let me know your answer.” I met many men in my everyday life but this man is one of a kind, he’s crazy and arrogant! I don’t care if he’s a millioner, I need a man who can take care and respect me as a woman. A man who will give his quality time to be with me his presence when I need someone to talk with not the promises of material things. all I want is the love, respect, and care of a man that I really love.

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Last night my friend visited me in my place, he knows that I’m sick and he insisted to be with me for I am alone because my kids will not spent weekend with me, he’s a bit worried because I’m not feeling well, he’s so sweet for giving his time instead of taking a rest after a whole day meeting from his office. While taking dinner we had a heart to heart talk. I asked him about his wife during their happy days before they get separated. He said “we are very much okay, when I was working abroad we don’t have problem, I went home one’s a day from Singapore and went back on the same day just to see and check them if they’re okay. We don’t have problem when it comes to money matter, we see to it that all are in place, for our future and especially for our children.” But I get tired of the set up, I decided to resigned from my former multinational company for good and look for a job here. My wife started to nag at me asking to have quality time with her, she wants to be with her always. I am working and I want to have time also for myself.” Lol! I said, your a family man you should have quality time for your family. He replied, “yes I know, but I prioritize my job over them, I love my work, I work hard for them, I like going to different places, it’s part of my job. My wife wanted me to tell her every time where I’m going.” she’s your wife she has the right to know where your going and up to. Oh God! this man is crazy! I asked him, why did you get married? Your selfish you only think of yourself! And he said, “I just realize that me and my wife have a different views in life, she doesn’t understand me about my passion in work, I’m the type of a person of not being satisfied on one thing, I love exploring and adventure. I love doing many things, I want busy life.” Lol! I know the recipe for success is work, work, work, no wonder at his young age he earned his executive position in one of the big and top company in the country. I told him, take your work seriously but not at the cost of neglecting your family. I hope you and your wife compromise and settle your issues just for the good of your children. He added, my wife is my friend during college days we know each other very well, we are good as friends but not good as a couple, we better as friends than a couple. would you believe we are very much okay now than when were living together as a couple? I said, that’s a good sign, I hope you and your wife will soon be together again, do you still love her? he replied, I don’t know. Having a family is like having a refuge from the storm, a family is like a plant. It grows and blossoms, but remember, it also needs to be watered and taken care of. I believe “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” If given a chance to have a complete family again, I will do my best not to let anyone else to break it especially in-laws. Everybody deserves a second chance.

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