My Heart And Me

What do you worry about? Money? Kids? Parents? Your health or sight? The future? Job security? Do you feel sometimes worry about not having anything to worry about? To those with spouse you leave it to them? I did it before, when were together but it didn’t worked out. Someone defined worry as “stewing without doing.” For me its a good definition because there is really nothing I can do about my worries since it is oriented to the future. And besides, almost everything I worry about is uncontrollable or improbable. Since things I worry about usually do not come to pass, and I think irrationally leads me to believe that somehow through my worrying I prevent those events from happening. Worry tends to paralyze me. I feel helpless, frustrated, unable to counteract some uncontrollable event in my life. Anxiety is similar to worry. I can’t control myself not to worry or be anxious about the future. But only God is worth to trust. And only my trust will destroy my patterns of worry and anxiety. I know worries won’t give up easily, I can quickly slip back into old patterns of thinking that trigger worry and fear. But those old patterns is no longer control my life. If only I know how to let go of the future and my fears, maybe I will know how to stop worry and anxiety. My trust in a trustworthy God is evidence. The only alternative is to trust in something else that is also unseen-my own ability to control the future.

My Five year daughter confided me when were about to sleep last night. “Mama I have a difficulty in reading “tagalog” in my Filipino subject, my tutor is complaining why I can’t read and pronounce the word properly.” Oh! poor little girl! I told her to keep practice reading tagalog books specially her school books. When she was a baby I used to communicate with her in a foreign language (English) until now. Some of my friends told me not too much in using English language when communicating with her because when she will go to school she might have difficulty in understanding and talking our primary language which is “tagalog.” It’s true, now she’s experiencing it. She is expose to television, video games like psp and x-box which is the language is foreign. This late afternoon, I had a chance to teach her to read her tagalog school book. At first she was ashamed to read the words and after 15 minutes of reading the book she told me “Mama I’m so tired, I want to take a rest? and I want to play my psp or watch my favorite cartoon movie, please?! I don’t forced her to read and practice more, I know she will get over it and I’m confident, she’s good in academic and she will maintain her higher grade. Children are easy learners. My 9 and 5 year old daughters love “Naruto” series and I’m amazed because they can sing all the songs of the series and they sang it with all their hearts. All songs are Japanese and they memorized every words without any understanding of what they are singing. I know in time she will learn how to read and talk our primary language which is “tagalog.” Here’s my daughters favorite song of Naruto Shippuuden Series.

Yesterday, after work, I watched a movie together with my best friend, it was her birthday too. My children watched this movie on the first day showing together with their father, and my 5 year old daughter told me that she wants to watch again the said movie because it was a great movie and she wanted to watch it over and over again. Lol! So do I! I agree it was a great movie to watch for over and over again its so entertaining. I plan to watch it again tomorrow, the next day and the coming days. I get addicted to this nice movie. I remember, when I watched the part one of this movie last year same month, I was with my special friend he asked me “Why you want to watch that movie? its a kind of movie good for kids only” and I said “for the young at heart as well.” He got a point good for kids but good for adults too, good for the whole family. I’m looking forward to watch this movie again together with my children this weekend. A movie that full of actions, love for the earth and love for human race. If you want to be entertain and free from stress this weekend, watch this movie together with your whole family, enjoy your weekend!