2009-07

Last Saturday afternoon, my youngest daughter told me “Mama my father have a new girlfriend, we had a party last night in our house then my father introduced to us his new girlfriend.” And I replied, Oh! that’s good! nice to hear that, he will forget his past girlfriend that your grand mother hate the most. Then she smiled at me and I asked her who’s the prettiest? the past girlfriend or the current girlfriend? Lol! and she replied “the present girlfriend.” Oh that’s good! Then the next day, it was Sunday while we’re taking our lunch, my 2nd daughter open a topic about his fathers girlfriend. Then she asked me “Mama you don’t care that our father have another girl friend? you don’t get hurt?” I said to her, oh! why I should get hurt? yes, I do care! I care because your father is happy with his life now, he found another girl friend and they’re in good terms with his loving mother, they’re not fighting, and you should be happy too that your grandma and your father are now okay, If your father is happy, I’ll be happy for him too. Then she showed a sad face to me, and I asked, why you have sad face? then she replied with very low voice, I want a happy and a complete family. I said to her “don’t be sad you have a complete and a happy family, you have a father and a mother and two sisters, even we don’t live together in one house we’re still a happy family. Me and your father have a happy life now, you don’t see us fighting better than before isn’t? Then she said “okay mama” with a sad face. In time, when she grow up, I know she will understand me. I know her feelings. Every children dream to have a happy family. I still hope that my father and mother will be back in each others arms to stay together until they die, but seeing them staying together with a miserable life will hurt me more. Seeing them with their separate lives, and seeing my mother happy without my father in her life made me understand her, what she wants in her life, a life together with my younger brothers and sister. And seeing my father who found someone who will love and take care of him until his last breath on earth, it makes me happy and understand them both why they live their lives separately.

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I want to share with you the email that I received tonight sent by my very close friend. An email that touches my heart with teary eyed. And it made me realize this four words is so important in my daily life.

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies. She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace. Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: “what a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!” For each cookie she took, the man took one too.

This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene. When only one cookie remained she thought: “Ah… What this abusive mean do now?” Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. Ah! That was to much! She was much too angry now! In a huff, She took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place. When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened! She felt so ashamed! She realized that she was wrong… She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter. … while she had been angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself… nor to apologize.” There are four things that you cannot recover…
The Stone… …after the throw! The Word… …after each said!
The Occasions… …after the loss! The Time… …after it’s gone!

Oh God! I remember my father, my mother, my siblings, I always took them for granted. I never show them my love, I never said sorry for the hurts I caused on them. I will take the chance to say sorry to the people I hurt, before it’s to late. Hug your loved ones daily while they can feel our arms. Tell them “I love you” over and over again while they can hear. Learn the gesture of love and kindness to others. The price is small, but the rewards are more than all the gold in the world!

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I had a heart to heart talk with my colleague yesterday after work. We had our weekly meeting while waiting for our colleagues to come, I asked him if they will watch a concert tonight and he told me “yes! together with my girl friend.” I said wow! I wish I’m your girl friend, lol! Then I asked him, how long you’ve stayed together? more than three years he said. In three years of being together have you experience of courting or like another girl? He said “no! sometimes when I saw a girl that looks so attractive I admire her beauty but to get her attention or get her number or introduce myself to her? never! I am happy and I love my girlfriend and I’m afraid of “karma.” And I said to him “your girl friend is so lucky to have you, I wish I have a boy friend like you, faithful, kind and responsible.” He smiles and said “I was just tired of playing around, when I was in third year college when I met her, at first I’m not so serious in any relationship then and we don’t have like a courtship stage. We we’re friends and I just asked her if she can be my girl friend then it’s magic we’re compatible and our relationship last long. We had misunderstandings and fights but we settled it through giving space to each other and think over the problem, and most importantly “never argue.” She made me a big change of me, he changed me and this is the results. At the age of 23 he’s so responsible and mature enough to handle a relationship. No doubt that he’s one of a few good men on earth. He is the youngest among of his friends who are my colleagues in our company, two of them are enjoying their youthful, meeting girls, and fooling around. Men are really the same they all have to meet the right girl or person that destined for them to make them what they are to be. Men needs to experience a kind of commitment and unconditional love to be able to give it away.

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