2009-05-06

Five days ago my first born angel celebrated her 17th birthday here on earth. I remember the first time I knew and heard her heartbeat inside my womb and carrying a baby for four months without knowing it. At young age I had her and I never thought that it could be. At first when I knew that I was pregnant I told myself “No it can’t be?” I cried so much and blamed myself, I even think to abort the baby even the father agreed and he did the first move. My Aunt told me not to do evil action. She told me “its a sin, please don’t do it, we’re here for you we will help you no matter what.” I’m so thankful to God because He showed me the right way. I was so afraid because deep inside my heart I don’t want to do it. Every night I cried and thinking what will be my future of having a baby and I was so ashamed to my family of having a baby without a father to call. The father of my baby was willing to do his obligation and he wanted to get married but I had a second thought we’re both young then and his family will not allow if they will knew it and I am not even sure if I love him. For the sake of my baby, I let myself marry the father and hoping to learn to love him. My family and relatives beg to disagree my decision, but it was done when they knew it. After a month, after the secret civil wedding, I gave birth to my precious angel, the first time I saw her angel face I cried and I asked her forgiveness. She made me as a whole person she made me a mother, she gave me hope and inspiration, and strength to surpass all the trials I’ve been through. And now she’s grown up, I don’t regret everything happened, It was destined to have her in my life. I’m not a perfect mother but I will do my best to be a good mother. I will give my whole life, without her, my life is worthless… She maybe an unwanted baby, but for me she’s the perfect gift I ever had. I thank God for giving me a precious gifts like my grown up baby.

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