2009-04-11

When I was 8 yrs old I dreamed to be a nun. I like being alone and talking and praying to God for my families protection and happiness. when I was in secondary school I’m active in school religious activities. I love listening to religious songs. I find peace and happiness on what I’m doing. When I’m in college I had a big problem about my parents that forced me to leave our home to find peace and love that I never felt from my own family. One early morning, after I hardly cried because of the pain I felt in my heart. I had a suicide attempt (this is my deepest secret during my younger years), the first person knows it was my aunt the cousin of my father and my grand mother sister. When I was in the middle of hanging myself I saw one lady with white long dress and told me “don’t do that my child come to me and be with me in heaven.” then the rope was cut and she helped me to get off from the rope. Then she suddenly disappear I just cried and said “Oh my God I’m so sorry for being so weak please forgive me.” After that incident I kept asking myself “What will be my purpose on earth? Who is that lady who helped and rescued me from death?” Now I realize all that happens in my life have a purpose, every details my childhood my teenage years, I was born by His purpose and for His purpose. What would be my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want to be? What is the desires of my heart? So many questions and trusting God is all I need for His will be done! Because of my friend who gave me a birthday gift 6 years ago, a portrait of a saint that so close to my heart who makes me realize what will be my purpose on earth. Thank you Lord for my second life and to the woman who teach me to have faith, hope and love.

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