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Five days ago my first born angel celebrated her 17th birthday here on earth. I remember the first time I knew and heard her heartbeat inside my womb and carrying a baby for four months without knowing it. At young age I had her and I never thought that it could be. At first when I knew that I was pregnant I told myself “No it can’t be?” I cried so much and blamed myself, I even think to abort the baby even the father agreed and he did the first move. My Aunt told me not to do evil action. She told me “its a sin, please don’t do it, we’re here for you we will help you no matter what.” I’m so thankful to God because He showed me the right way. I was so afraid because deep inside my heart I don’t want to do it. Every night I cried and thinking what will be my future of having a baby and I was so ashamed to my family of having a baby without a father to call. The father of my baby was willing to do his obligation and he wanted to get married but I had a second thought we’re both young then and his family will not allow if they will knew it and I am not even sure if I love him. For the sake of my baby, I let myself marry the father and hoping to learn to love him. My family and relatives beg to disagree my decision, but it was done when they knew it. After a month, after the secret civil wedding, I gave birth to my precious angel, the first time I saw her angel face I cried and I asked her forgiveness. She made me as a whole person she made me a mother, she gave me hope and inspiration, and strength to surpass all the trials I’ve been through. And now she’s grown up, I don’t regret everything happened, It was destined to have her in my life. I’m not a perfect mother but I will do my best to be a good mother. I will give my whole life, without her, my life is worthless… She maybe an unwanted baby, but for me she’s the perfect gift I ever had. I thank God for giving me a precious gifts like my grown up baby.

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How did it make you feel when someone was untruthful with you? We, too, live in permissive society that does not always show high regard for telling the truth. People tell white lies for some reasons, it can be good or bad for the persons involved with. I always say to my friends “telling the truth is foundational to relationships and clear conscience.” I admit, sometimes I tell white lies for good reason and purposes. But when someone who is close to my heart being untruthful it hurts me and even more painful as I expected. The friendship is in danger. When a once-trusted friend was untruthful to me I am left wondering if he will do it again. Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. I’ve always found it difficult to bury the proverbial hatchet. If I been wronged, it’s tough enough to let go even after the person says “I’m sorry” but to take the initiative in forgiving is down right impossible. To forgive is to forget, it’s easy for me to forgive but it will take time for me to forget and it keeps me wondering that he might do it again. The cycle repeats itself over and over. I want to free myself from a desire to hurt back I put and save myself from further harm. It is always important to tell the truth “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” Only liars have to keep their story “straight.” Once, I’ve been untruthful with someone, I find courage to approach and apologize, and correct my dishonesty. We are all humans, we commit mistakes. Let us be an example to the believers with our words, our actions, our love, our faith, and our pure life.

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I write down the type of a man that I’m looking for. It includes all the qualities and the way I would like to be treated. What I need in a relationship, I’m speaking of realistic expectations such as considerate, communicative, have a vision of his life, have an open conscience toward God. I’m not saying he have to be rich, super fine, knows the bible by heart, movie-type romantic, sports minded and sociable. Friendship and romance should be combined, because my mate should be my best friend. I asked myself why I gave up the things on my list? I know and I consider “something is not always better than nothing.” In most cases, nothing offers more peace of mind and fewer battle scars. I want to be realistic and also be fair to my love ones. Not to expect any more from my boyfriend than what I’m willing to be myself. I want love and compassion. I won’t compromise the important things in my list. After I’ve spent time grooming myself to be a gift, I make sure he is a gift, too. Sometimes, I asked myself “would I get on a plane if I knew the pilot is not qualified to fly?” a woman who knows what she wants and what she deserves and won’t settle for less is considered a prize catch by the male species- she’s extremely beautiful and very desirable. I need to know what I deserve so I can have what I deserve. A man who will be responsible for a woman spiritually and physically, who will lay down his life for his wive, who will provide food, clothing, and safety. I review these attributes until they get down on my spirit and ring in my ears and in my heart. I deserve to be nurtured, provided for, and loved. Someone says to me ” If you find yourself feeling like a stepchild in your relationship with a man, let go and let God bring you a man who knows what time it is.” Today is the time to begin taking a realistic look at the requirements of building and maintaining a healthy, vibrant relationship. I’m talking about a love that will last the rest of my life.

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