My Heart And Me

I had a night swimming bonding with the kids. During my teenage life my week can not be completed without going to the beach or to the swimming pool with friends or family. Swimming was my life during that time. I don’t care if my family and friends told me that my skin color is like chocolate all i know was I’m enjoying my life with the water. But now it’s seldom for me to go swimming because as we grow old our priority in life changes. if I have free time I go swimming to take exercise at the same time. And now my daughter likes swimming too. She wants to go swimming everyday when she’s with me. She told me that she wants to be a mermaid like Ariel in “The little Mermaid” a fairy tale story. I smiled at her and I told her that during my younger years I also dreamed to be like a mermaid. She’s really my daughter she likes swimming too. It feels good that sometimes I still have time to bond with my daughter and to bond with my first love…. which is swimming!

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I’m not fine today and have a severe headache. Last night I couldn’t sleep I don’t know why… around 4 am early this morning I drank 2 glasses of milk I just tried it hoping I can sleep. I think I got sleep around 5 am and I woke up at 9 am. I’m wondering why I can’t sleep last night. My sister told me I need to go a doctor to under go medical check up. I think my headache is due to over exposed to the computers. After using computer I take a bath. my sister told me it is bad my eyes is tired if I can’t avoid not to use computer before taking shower I need to take a rest for a few minutes. I believe her because she had it before. This past few months I’m having difficulties of my sleeping habit maybe it’s one of the reason why I’m having frequent headaches. I just wish one day I will wake in the morning that I don’t have to worry about work and not to worry how to make money for a living. I’m just sick and tired of my life to have the same daily routine. Every one wants happiness, no one wants pain but you can’t make a rainbow without a little rain.

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Late this afternoon, me and my 4 years old daughter went to a shopping mall to buy some personal things and to buy some groceries. While walking inside the mall some men keeps looking and smiling at me and my baby asked me, mama did you know them? and I said no I don’t know them. Why they smiled at you and you smiled back? and I said to her, nothing baby it’s just like being friendly they smile at me so i smile at them too that’s all. While I’m getting my personal stuff, she told me. Mama when I grow up I want to be like you. and I asked why? I want to be pretty like you. I want my hair long and i want to have brown hair color like you, I just want to be like you! And then I smiled at her and said. don’t worry baby when you grow up you will look exactly like me because your my daughter. and she said really mama! One sales lady smiled at us and asked “Madam is she is your daughter?” and I said yes! and she said again she doesn’t look like you maybe she looks like her father and I said yes. and the sales lady told me “your child admire you so much and she is very proud of you as her mother” and I said thank you for your compliments. My daughter looks up to me and I’m happy for that but it makes me more conscious of my actions. At her age that’s the stage of idolizing one person and it just happens that it’s me her mother. I remember when I was same as her age I idolized my auntie the sister of my father so i know her feelings. Being a mother I want the best for her, I want her to be beautiful, loving, charming and sweet most especially I want her to be a good person and a God fearing individual.

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