My Heart And Me

Families are out of control. Because of the chaos and stress, many of us end up not feeling well. Last night something bad happens between me and my youngest sister. After a night out party together with my brothers and sisters. I was so disappointed on her. I never thought that she can do something bad. To disrespect me and said bad words against me. I admit, I shouted at her, my feeling of anger ruled over my temper. I was out of control of my emotions. I’m just a human being. I don’t deserved to be treated that way especially by my sister that I loved and cared for. I’m welling to extend my help when she needs it. And I deserved to be respected as her older sister. I apologized for raising my voice on approaching her that way but she shouldn’t shouted at me and said some hurtful words. In every family, it’s normal to have misunderstanding, we have good and bad sides. We can choose whom we want to be a friend but we can not choose whom will be the member of our family. Even we are one family and we don’t grew up together in one roof, the closeness was there especially now that we have our own family. It was a traumatic experience for us after a night out party. Everything happens for a reasons. Thanks for that incident, I got to know her more. Never in my wildest dream, I couldn’t imagine her negative returns on my effort. It’s sad to know and feel how far people who are close to my heart doesn’t know how to appreciate my effort to be close to them.

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Last Tuesday, We went to Subic beach resort with my brothers, sisters and our family friend from abroad. He wanted to visit some beautiful beach. I suggested this place to my sister and they agreed, it’s a 3 hours drive from manila. When we left manila it’s a cloudy day, when we reached the place it was raining. We are disappointed because of the heavy rains. We don’t have a chance to swim in the beach or even in the pool. At night my brothers and sisters went out, they’re trying to enjoy the night by visiting some bars near the hotel where we stayed. I prefer to stay and took the chance to take a rest and sleep early and wished that the sun will shine the next day. I woke up early and the beautiful sun comes up. We had a chance to go to the beach and took some pictures then I touched the water. Its been more than ten years I haven’t touched the water in the sea. Thank God we enjoyed the last minute of our stay and our short vacation with my brothers, sisters and nephew. I wish we can be together again. Thank you to our family friend because of him we had a chance to be together after long years.

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Last Saturday, I spent the whole day until midnight working. I’m so tired and exhausted. When I’m on my way home, it’s raining and there was a heavy traffic on the street. I fall asleep when I was in the taxi. I’m lucky because the driver was so kind to me, he knows that I’m so tired of work. He wakes me up when I arrived in my place. It’s almost mid night but my children are still awake waiting for me. I heard their voices while I’m walking at the corridor. They’re so happy when they saw me standing at the door. They kissed and hug me so tightly and said “Mama why you arrived late, we miss you.” I’m sorry, I had to work and I’m so tired. My baby told me “don’t worry mama I will kissed and hug you many times and you will be fine. I smiled and asked her, what did you do the whole day? she said, we just play and waiting for you. “When I woke up in the morning I cried a lot because your gone my nanny told me you went to work. I’m sorry for crying to much because I miss you.” I felt my tiredness was gone. Because of my loving daughter she made me so happy and she energized my deteriorating energy because of working so hard. I’m so lucky of having an angels like them in my life. I can’t imagine what will be my life without them. Thank God for giving me an understanding and loving daughters like them.

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