2009-10

I want to share some jokes that I read in my inbox sent by my close friend that makes my afternoon a bit funny but rated x? for adults only… here’s some jokes, I hope it will put a smile in your charming face.

In the Hospital:
Doctor: hey lady you look so thin and weak. Did you follow my advice to have three meals a day?
Girl: Oh my God! three meals a day? I thought three males a day! Hmm… rated joke sorry!

Man: If we are a couple, we will face the problem together…
Woman: But I don’t have a problem
Man: It’s just because we’re not yet a couple, don’t be excited! Hmm… Conceited man!

Husband: Honey, please open the door!
Wife: Sorry, I cant! I’m naked.
Husband: (laugh) It’s okay, I’m alone
Wife: Me, I’m not! Hmm… unfaithful wife!

Advice for long life…
Do not write your name in condolence book when you go to a wake, because
after the funeral there will be a raffle who will be next… Hmm… bad joke!

Teacher: Peter, your late again.
Peter: My watch is late
Teacher: It’s not a problem, make it advance
Peter: Okay!
Teacher: Where you going?
Peter: Dismissal time! Hmm… naughty student!

Two men exercising:
Guy 1: Brother, I am a doctor, I’m running because I’m HEALTH conscious.
Guy 2: I’m snatcher brother, I’m WEALTH conscious. Hmm… lazy man!

Why fool man shoot his girlfriend?
Because he wants to know if FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES! Hmm… stupid man!

Tom: You know my friend, my new wife is a sex object!
Jerry: Wow! your wife must be so beautiful!
Tom: Not so! but everytime I want to have sex, she objects! Hmm… maybe she’s not in the mood!

Son: Mother, my girlfriend doesn’t believe in heaven and hell.
Mother: Go on son, marry her and let her feel the heaven…
and I’ll let her feel the hell! Hmm… I know that feeling!

A husband asked his wife, “What do you like most in me, my macho face or my sexy body?”
The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor!” Hmm… No brain???

A guy picks up a girl for a date:
“Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below my belt… Hmm… not trustworthy?

Good night! Sorry I feel bored on my jokes!

　　please click this banner?

I received an email today from a man who’s been part of my life, a close friend maybe? A friend who’s always there for me when I need help. He told me that this old song is for me and it’s like the lyrics of this song was made for me. When I read the lyrics of the song I asked myself is it me? In some ways maybe. I remember when best friend told me “you are the type of a woman that men doesn’t know how to please you, it means it’s hard for them to please you, but as a friend your so easy to please because I know you.” If they will only knew who I am. Here is the song, it’s for you to find out why this song was dedicated twice to me by the two men who are close to my heart.

　　please click this banner?