My Heart And Me

Can Men and Woman be just friends? Is it possible for men and women to be friends without being romantic? Five years ago I’ve meet a man, we talk each other regularly, I share my personal problems. He’s always there for me when I need someone to lean on. As time pass by we became very close friends. For many people the idea of a man and woman being friends is charming, but improbable. It always lead into something else. Yes, I agree! Because my friend falls in love with me. I feel bad and our friendship is gone since the day he said he loves me. Male-female friendships are rarely acclaimed or depicted as on going, free standing bond. In my life, I wanted to have a male best friend, a true friendship one. He is a good sounding board for getting the male perspective, the kind I can’t get from a woman friend. For me, as a woman it helps me to express my independence, more reasoned, and tougher side-the harder edge that keep under wraps in relationships with my women friends. The down side for me is the relative absence of emotional reciprocity and intensity I normally shares with a female friend. I think, men and women can enjoy friendship together, but not at the same level they do with friends in the same sex. Male and female friendship avoid competition too, we can choose who can be friends for a life time. I hope, I have a male true friend that I can count on, someone I can call my male best friend.

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This past few days I’ve been thinking about life, my life. The way I see my life shape my life. Some friends told me just take it easy and enjoy life. “How do I see my life?” I am responsible of my own destiny. Yes, destiny is a matter of choice. Yesterday my best friend told me, I have choices in life, I just need to choose which destiny I want to take. I failed some test in life and I learned from it. I feel I’m always being tested. When no one is around, I ask God what He wants me to be? what will be my purpose on earth? God tested my faith through problems, tests my hope by how I handle possessions, and test my love through people. Realizing life is too short, everyday is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen my character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God for my life. I know everything I enjoy is to be treated as a trust that God has placed in my hands. I thank God for all His goodness. Let me share with you my favorite song that signifies my life, the feeling of being alone and to feel that God is always with me when I’m all alone.

Thank you to late Music Icon Micheal Jackson, I am one of his fan, I salute him for making and singing a heartfelt songs that signifies life. Thank you MJ, your songs will live on in every people’s heart.

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What do you worry about? Money? Kids? Parents? Your health or sight? The future? Job security? Do you feel sometimes worry about not having anything to worry about? To those with spouse you leave it to them? I did it before, when were together but it didn’t worked out. Someone defined worry as “stewing without doing.” For me its a good definition because there is really nothing I can do about my worries since it is oriented to the future. And besides, almost everything I worry about is uncontrollable or improbable. Since things I worry about usually do not come to pass, and I think irrationally leads me to believe that somehow through my worrying I prevent those events from happening. Worry tends to paralyze me. I feel helpless, frustrated, unable to counteract some uncontrollable event in my life. Anxiety is similar to worry. I can’t control myself not to worry or be anxious about the future. But only God is worth to trust. And only my trust will destroy my patterns of worry and anxiety. I know worries won’t give up easily, I can quickly slip back into old patterns of thinking that trigger worry and fear. But those old patterns is no longer control my life. If only I know how to let go of the future and my fears, maybe I will know how to stop worry and anxiety. My trust in a trustworthy God is evidence. The only alternative is to trust in something else that is also unseen-my own ability to control the future.

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