Betrayal…

It was almost a month I didn’t talk to my best friend. I treated her as my sister and a best friend. She was my best friend for 4 years. For the second time, I was betrayed by my best friend. The first time was 6 years ago, we were best of friends since early twenties, when we got married we were there for each other through thick and thin, she was the God mother of my second daughter. When I had my separation with my husband our friendship ends. I thought she’s my best friend, I shared my deep secret to her about my real feelings but she told my husband about it, I know she was just trying to help us and no bad intention at all, but what I don’t understand was why she did it. I told her everything and only to find out the situation gets worst. When a once-trusted confidant double-crosses you, betrayal is the result. Betrayal is almost always more painful, because betrayal dismantles trust. My close friends has the power to hurt me precisely because she knows me so well; my deepest secrets provide her with the emotional ammunition that can cut me to the core. And I’m left wondering if she will do it again. Since then I never talked to her after the incident. And now it happened again a month ago. I asked myself why I’m always betrayed by my best friend? maybe my friend, whom I counted on, isn’t there for me in a time of need. Or perhaps she joins others in teasing me about a sensitive issue. Betrayal is often unintentional; my friend may not think what she did was wrong or realize that she’s caused me pain. She may not have known I were counting on her so much. I am a victim of blatant betrayal. Life status is not an issue for me. I can be a friend to anyone who wants to be friend with me. But now I realize and I need not to be so trustful even to my best friend. Whether intentional or not, betrayal is a guaranteed toxin to every friendship. I’ve been burned, betrayed in a way I never deserved. I’m giving myself a space and time to cool off down and collect all my thoughts, and time really does have a way of healing deep hurts. Time allows forgiveness to wash away anger. A broken friendship is destined to stay that way. Relationships can give us perspective on our experiences, deepen our lives. The stronger for being broken, such a friendship can help me carry on my life with greater satisfaction. Learning my lessons one is enough and two is too much. Friendship is like money, easier made than keep.

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